Life update

A big screw you to my bully's and stalkers

The past two weeks have been filled with busy hands and busy hearts. I’ve been working hard on a new project, putting my everything into it. On top of falling deeper in love while trying to understand how thats even possible! For the first time in my life, i have someone alongside me who is just as creative as me. What an exciting thing to be with someone like that! This new project is a big undertaking. If it does well will drastically change my life. I’ll be documenting everything im doing for the new few years. I think im ready for that? We will see! Hopefully by October first it will be ready to share with the world.

My biggest fear with this project is that it might be a really good idea. The kind of good idea that some network would catch wind of and steal from under me. One of those things where you suddenly see an ad from Hulu or Netflix a few months into producing where they completely stole the idea and executed it with a bigger budget and a big film crew. Honestly that might happen. Being in this industry i’m mutuals with many big producers. Who knows what the future holds. Until then, i hope that my little idea stays with me, becomes a hit and i can execute it myself with all the love and tenacity i’ve got.

Ive been really terrible at social media the last year and a half. After my Hulu show was released i had a hard time being perceived. I had such amazing feedback from that show that i still receive today and am so grateful for but it also attracted bullies and stalkers on a level i wasn’t prepared for. At the time of stepping back, i had half a million friends on Tiktok who i adored and could nerd out on the paranormal with but the bullies took the fun out of being online at all. I unfortunately let them win and had to step back from it all. It makes wanting to return a little scary.

At its peak 7 months ago, I was sent death threats along with details on how they would k*ll me and my dog with my address. I guess to show me they knew where i was at the time. Soon i had another stalker trying to find me in my own neighborhood. Filming me leaving my house, sending me videos of them breathing loudly and walking around my neighborhood looking for me. Sending me things in the mail. I found out who two of the online bullies were which helped but i never found out who the two were that physically stalked me. One went as far to broke into my house six months back when i was home to steal my underwear and run out the back door.

I spent most of my savings moving around trying to find safety again. It was a lesson to have thicker skin in this industry. This was scary but the mental exhaustion from this one who purchased bots to spam everything i posted might have been worse. They had been following me for years, seen every venerable post i’ve made and used it to maliciously attack me in anyway they could. Every day i spent deleting tons of comments. At least 12 or so comments per day for over a year on everything and every platform. I was getting DMs of threats and paragraphs about how useless i was. That i was a bad person, that i deserved nothing, all while using the struggles i’ve posted about as fuel. Tiktok and Instagram had to lock down my accounts because it was so bad. At the time my online community was my safe space and they made sure to take that from me too.

So i guess im hoping this spooky season i can come back and be present online again. I miss the community, the shared experiences and my friends and mutuals i’ve made over the years. I miss it all and i cant let the bullies win. Even if they continue to mass report all my posts, i will keep on posting. This new project means too much to me.

I guess i’ve been using this as a journal as of late and a place to put my nerdy musings. I appreciate you all for sticking around.